belgian blue bull

And I am not strapped in...

Fall is exactly how I want it. Friends sitting around a table in our scarfs and with our coffee/hot chocolate in our hands and just sharing how life is . I love that.

Iapos;m through with all the drama in my life and Iapos;m so happy about it. I guess it just took me awhile to see the true colors of some people. I am realizing that sometimes you think you have everything the friends, the fame, the look , the money and the happiness and then you realize that maybe itapos;s not all what it seems. I was surrounded by people I would have thought were some of my best of friends and then to realize when times got rough and I had to back away from shows and that lifestyle... Few even called, imed or anything. Then when I see them itapos;s the same ole song and dance of "" I miss you I love you lisa itapos;s so good to see you" then those words kinda fade away when weeks go by and nothing when i try to contact them. Itapos;s sad. Itapos;s something I got used to, so instead of escaping to the city everynight I remained in the burbs and surrounded myself with the people I grew to love and got to know and realize friendships shouldapos;t be based on convience. Ever.

Iapos;m growing up and realizing sometimes your eyes are opened to the truth you always knew was there,but you just needed a little extra assistance to notice it.

I heard from Mike and he always sends me the cutest texts and he canapos;t wait to see me. If he only knew how much I canapos;t wait to see him. Hello 11 months of happiness that I am so thankful for. Itapos;s funny to remember back in October last year when we were hanging out and just being best friends and he asked me if I would write to him and I said "of course i will." I totally planned on writing him when he was in basic, because we became so close and now to think that , that friendship started us on our way to dating and having those letters be something so special. I wrote him everyday. I really did and dated everyone and then when I saw his locker at his graduation from basic back in May I saw that he kept them all. I kept all of his and re-read them constantly and then Iapos;m reminded of what a great man I have. It will definitely be something to always remember what our love is capable of. Every time I get weak I read them and realize I am a strong woman and Mike and I will be just fine.

I really hope he is home next month. If not I have told myself to still be happy and love the holidays the same way I always do. It will be sad without him at Thanksgiving and Christmas... But I am crossing me fingers he is back. I will still get so excited at the first snow fall of the season, the smells of winter, the shopping for the holidays, the holiday music and getting all bundled under the covers and hopefully he will be right there with me to help hang the Christmas lights.

I am having another "ladies" tonight full of being in Chicago and club spin for Justinapos;s friends birthday So excited. I like the gay clubs better no lame bro-like dudes hitting on me and just being rude. I just get to be with jesse and justin and smiling and dancing and loving them for who they are and seeing their culture. I love it. Plus, dollar drinks... What more could you ask for.

Alyssa texted me and told me that she purchased a Christmas present for me Fall out boy tickets for this super small place in detriot well not super small, but So much smaller than what weapos;re used to back home with the boys getting so big. I am so happy about this. I owe that girl something awesome for Christmas this year. Needless to say Iapos;m hella stoked to see those boys just before Christmas and their new cd drops.

Iapos;ve been having really awesome talks with my friends and I have come to realize that I am surrounded by the best people. They are all so different and I love it. It just makes me so happy to know such diverse and interesting people.

Iapos;m blessed.
Now I just have to work a ton to get two new tires so my car can survive this season and make all my bills so i can go shopping in the ridiculously HUGE forever 21 they just opened up yes.... Job opening anyone? Yes.

<3
Iapos;m one happy lady.
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